Senses
by jane0904
Summary: Five pieces in the Mal/Freya 'verse following Sins of the Flesh that sort of approximate the five senses. Lastly, smell. Thank you to those who have taken the time to review - you make it worthwhile. Thanks again! There will be more.
1. Garden: Touch

"Why ain't you in bed, River?"

She looked up from where she was weeding her garden to see Mal standing in the doorway.

"Not sleepy."

He shook his head. "All that's been going on, I'd'a thought you'd be dead to the world right now."

"_You're_ not."

"No, well, that's because I'm captain."

"Captains need their sleep too. To make decisions. Get jobs. Pay the crew."

"You got something you want to buy?"

"Something pretty to wear for when I get back to Jayne."

"I don't think I want to know anything more about that."

"A dress," she explained, giving him a version of her 'boob' look.

"Oh. Right. And there'll be a job." Mal crossed his arms. "Got a lot of feelers out. Something's gonna come up."

"It will. Tomorrow."

"You can see that?"

She nodded. "Still couldn't sleep."

"You shoulda tried."

"Don't mean me. Mean you." She pointed at his shirt hanging outside his pants, his suspenders around his hips. "You tried. Didn't."

He chuckled. "Guess maybe I didn't." He sighed. "Feels like part of me's missing, albatross."

"You'll be back with her soon."

"This how you feel?"

River nodded. "Torn, uprooted, bereft, abandoned …"

"He ain't abandoned you," Mal pointed out.

"Nor she you."

He smiled grudgingly. "Pair, ain't we?"

"I miss him." She spoke simply, running her fingers thought the fragile soil.

"Yeah."

"You miss Jayne?" She turned enormous eyes on him in mock horror.

"Well, yeah, kinda, but not in that way …" He knew he was being wound up, and grinned, but it faltered with his next words. "Bed's empty. So's the nursery. Feels like it did before, when I didn't have her."

"When you didn't realise you had," she gently corrected him.

"Still feels wrong."

"You are a husband and a father. Things are very different." She removed an errant weed, trying vainly to hold on and procreate.

"I know." He watched her a moment, then said, "I miss her, River. Her laugh, her voice, her touch … can't sleep at night without her." He closed his eyes. "She's just on Lazarus. That's all. 'N' I can't help wondering what would happen if I didn't have her to go back to. If she was gone. If she -"

"Died."

"Yeah." The metal of the bulkhead was cool behind him, but all he could see was Freya nearly a year ago, wrapped in the tarpaulin, pinned inside his eyes. "So many times I coulda lost her. Not just because I was a _sha gua chun zi_, but with Wing, Lon, Niska …" He shuddered. "This ain't a safe 'verse, girl. We've faced a lot of bad guys, and come out the other side more or less unscathed. But I'm afraid."

"That one day we won't."

"Lost two friends doing what I thought was right."

"It was," she breathed, but he didn't hear.

"Lost another who could have become a friend."

"Jethro." She didn't speak, just mouthed his name.

"Nearly lost a couple more this last time." He shook his head. "Maybe I shouldn't be out here at all. Seem to attract these kinda things. Maybe I should take a leaf out of Inara's book and settle down somewhere. Raise my kids on the ground, not up here in the black."

"It didn't stop Han."

Mal looked at her. "No more it did."

"You have Freya. But it was your fault it wasn't sooner."

He raised his eyebrows at her. "You think I don't know that?"

"You should have embraced her when you found her."

"And would things have been so different, _xiao nu_?"

She smiled widely. "And you're not going to distract me by calling me daughter."

"Thought you liked it."

"I do." She put her hand on his. "Father."

"Not your blood."

"Does it matter?"

"Nope," he conceded.

"You care about me. Love me. Love us all."

He moved uncomfortably. "River …"

"And it would have been different," she went on quickly. "If you had taken her into your life then."

"How?" He leaned forward. "Jayne said you'd … that you sometimes see the other futures. The _might have been's_. What would it have been like for Frey and me?"

"It doesn't work like that." She shook her head, then pushed at a lock of hair that fell into her eyes. Mal lifted it up, caught it in her clip again. That one simple action, so natural, so unforced, made her heart sing with affection.

"So how does it work?" he asked, not knowing the effect he was having.

"There are many variables, and things change all the time. Every action has options, every option a reaction, every reaction causes more possibilities to open … on and on, fractally."

"Right." He nodded slowly as if he understood, then shrugged. "Still don't get it."

"Too many to enumerate," she said. "But there are a few that stand out. That are more likely than the others."

"So what are they? I mean, over Frey and me. If I'd taken her when I should." He sat back against the wall, drawing his knees up so he could rest his forearms on them. "Come on," he said. "Give."

"Three."

"Three what?"

"Possibilities. They stand out more than others, with less changes until they pass the point at which we stand."

"Now I know you can do this in captain dummy talk."

"Don't need to." She grinned. "You understand. Might like to pretend you don't, to put the Badgers of the 'verse off balance, but you do."

"River …"

"A ranch. You bought it with the compensation money. Married Freya as soon as you were both let out of the camp, and took up running cattle."

"Cattle." Mal considered. "Could be good."

"The second -"

"Whoa, wait a second there. That's it? Just her and me on a ranch with cows outside?"

"Just you."

Mal swallowed. "What are you talking about?"

"Two years. Her and you and a ranch for two years. Then just you and a ranch."

"What happened?"

"It _didn't_."

"You know what I mean."

"She died in childbirth. Your son died with her. Buried them on the hill overlooking the ranch so you could see her every morning." She raised her head so she could look him in the eye. "You are successful. But there is no-one in your bed."

"Frey …" He felt a coldness wash through him.

"She's on Lazarus, Mal. Safe. With Ethan."

He took a deep breath. "Yeah. I know." He nodded. "What about the others?"

"You bought this Firefly. The shipyard owner wanted to sell you a yellow one, but you saw her across the lot –"

Mal laughed. "I remember that."

"Never married Freya, but she was in your bed from the first moment. Chose the crew together. Happy."

"Happy." He smiled. "Kids?"

"No children."

"How come? I mean, I know we'd never've been able to –"

"Miranda."

That brought him up short. "What?"

"It wasn't Wash flying Serenity."

His face went pale. "You mean …"

"It didn't happen."

"_Run tse de fuo tzoo._" He leaned back on the bulkhead, staring at her.

She could feel the sadness inside. Knew it was just a possibility, that it hadn't happened, at least here, but quantum laws dictated it had to happen somewhere, and she knew she was responsible for another death somewhere out in the fractal 'verse …

Mal licked dry lips. "And the third? You said there were three."

"She never recovered from Dhu Khang. The war didn't end that night at Serenity Valley, and I killed you."

He took a deep breath, her words dropping into his mind like lead weights. "Then …" He blinked hard. "So if I'd done what I always wished I had …"

"No."

"But you said …"

"Those three are the most likely. From here. Not there. Choose one and things change. Other options, other reactions. You did this. And right now, on Lazarus, you have a wife and a son, and a soon to be daughter."

"You're saying there's no point in beating myself up over not taking Freya before," he realised.

"I'm saying now is better."

"You coulda just said that."

"Would you have listened?"

He smiled shakily. "Prob'ly not." He looked at her, with her outward appearance of fragility containing a core of steel that was almost unbreakable.

"Not unbreakable," she said softly.

"Peeking?"

"Loud."

"Sorry." His gaze didn't waver. "And the future? You see that?"

"Some. Nothing concrete, or obvious, or even … just shapes. Like dust clouds."

"You remember that captain dummy talk?"

She looked at him. "Things are going to happen, Mal. Good things. But bad things too. I feel them."

"Like what?" He sat forward and took her hand, feeling the earth clinging to her skin. "What kinda things?"

"I don't know. But there's a wave of darkness. It isn't breaking yet, so I can't see the foam, can't tell when it will drown us, but it's building." She seemed to unfocus.

"Any idea what?"

"No." She shuddered, coming back to him. "Not yet."

"You think Freya sees it?"

River nodded slowly. "She does. But she has such faith in you that you will see us through it, bring us safely to the other side."

"She hasn't said anything."

"It's in her dreams. And there's nothing to say at the moment. No way around it yet."

"Then maybe there will be?"

"Fractals, Captain. An infinite web of possibilities."

He smiled a little. "You know, I can almost see that."

"Yes." She caressed the leaves of one of the strawberry plants. "It will be flowering soon."

"Yeah." Mal shook himself mentally. "Kaylee'll be over the moon. Strawberries on demand."

"The season will last as long as I wish," River said. "As long as I feed the plants, they'll keep producing."

"Kinda like my crew, eh?"

"Exactly. We've all blossomed under your leadership."

Mal laughed. "Okay, now I know it's time to get some sleep."

"Can you?" She fixed him with her great dark eyes.

He gazed back at her. "No. Not without her next to me."

"Nor can I. Jayne's bulk, his heat, his very being grounds me, anchors me to the here and now instead of the never and then. Without him I am adrift."

"That's it exactly," Mal agreed. "Lost my way in the fog."

"Shall we find it together?"

He narrowed his eyes. "What are you suggesting?"

She laughed, the sound at once knowing and innocent. "Not that. You are _jia_ _yan_."

"Told you, I ain't your father."

"And one day I may believe you." She put his hand to the soil. "But I was suggesting you help me with the weeding."

He grinned. "That I can do." He got to his knees and moved forward. "My Momma used to get me to weeding her vegetable garden back on Shadow when I'd done something bad."

"Hated it?"

"With a vengeance. Ending up all dirty and sweaty. Reckon that's why it was punishment."

"Tell me about her."

"What, about my Momma?" His lips twitched. "When you can see it all in my mind without me wearing out my tongue?"

"I like it when you tell me. It tastes different."

"Tastes. Right." He gazed at her. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

"Well, that could take a while."

"We have the time." She pointed to the next bin along. "You start with that one."

"Yes, ma'am," he said, pulling himself up to it.

"What did she look like?"

Mal reached out, drawing the soil through his fingertips. "Beautiful. Brown hair, hazel eyes, and a wicked sense of humour that had all the hands in love with her a little."

"A bit like Freya, then."

"Some. Can't imagine my Momma taking down a skiff, though."

"She would probably have surprised you."

Mal grinned. "Probably would."

"Go on."

"Strong, got things done, respected …"

As Mal talked, River smiled. No wonder he'd fallen for Freya that first night, when he could and did use the very same words to describe her. Not that he felt in any way that his wife was his mother. Far too oedipal. But she'd instilled in him something much more precious and honourable, and when he saw it in someone else, he couldn't help the attraction. She smiled wider and let his voice drown out the aching, fill the emptiness caused by lack of Jayne, and carried on weeding.


	2. Respite: Sound

The noise of the gunshot made her almost drop the pin she was trying to slide into her hair. Looking irritably into the mirror, Inara wondered idly why Mr Boden would be going after the rats at this time of the morning, although she was later than she normally liked. In the ten days since Serenity left, something about being back in her own bed had started her sleeping late, as if it was safer, more secure …

She tried again with the pin, trying not to see the bandages still wrapping her arms, and almost had it in place when another bang reverberated through the house.

"_Run tse duh fuo tsoo_," she swore, her fingers trembling, the pin slipping from them to fall to the floor. She reached down to pick it up, then stopped. What if it wasn't Mr Boden after rats? What if it was rats of a bigger, more terrible kind? Her reflection was pale, shaking.

Standing up she hurried to the window, almost afraid to look but more afraid not to. What she saw made her grip the curtains so tightly she crushed the fabric. Another gunshot rang out.

"_Ching-wah tsao duh liou_," she breathed, heading for the door, pausing only to grab the scrunchy she used for catching her hair up when she had a bath. Pulling her heavy tresses through it, she ran down the stairs and outside into the frosty morning air.

"Nah, girl, you're holding it too tight," came a gravelly voice from the orchard. "You gotta keep it in your palm like it's your lover. Too soft and she'll drop, too hard and the recoil'll break your hand."

"Like this, Mr Cobb?" A young female voice now.

"That's better. And you can call me Jayne. Mr Cobb makes me sound too old."

"It's what Inara told us to call you."

"You listen to everything she says?"

"Some." The girl giggled, joined by others.

"Well, I'm saying you call me Jayne. Most everyone else does."

"Okay. But why -"

"What the hell is going on?" Inara demanded, striding through the trees, her anger keeping her warm.

Valentia Reilly was standing on her own, her arm outstretched, while the other girls were gathered around a chair, all in thick winter coats, and they moved as she approached so she could see Jayne ensconced, as if on a throne, equally warmly dressed.

"Hey, there, 'Nara," the big man grinned. "You finally decided to show your face?"

"It's not that late." She wondered why she was suddenly on the defensive.

"Nearly time for lunch."

She stopped next to him. "Is that all you think about?"

He shrugged, an interesting movement since he had Ethan on his lap. "More or less. Ain't had nothing to kill for a while, and since River ain't here I'm not likely to get any …" He glanced at the little boy who was all wide-eyed. "So I figured I'd teach the girls here how to shoot."

"To shoot."

"Yeah. Seeing as I got a few of my guns here, and Lana's just about small enough for 'em to be able to handle -"

"Teach them to shoot."

"Sure." He looked at her in surprise. "Got a problem with that?"

"They're _children_," Inara hissed, watching Valentia put the gun very carefully down onto the small table at Jayne's side.

"Well, wouldn't exactly say -"

"And you think it's right that children learn to handle firearms?"

"You did."

She stared at him. "What?"

"Frey told me." He settled Ethan more comfortably. "Companion training, and all that. Showed ya how to use a sword. And other stuff."

"I'm not a Companion any more."

"So that means you've forgotten?" He grinned at her. "Kinda sure that ain't how it works."

"That isn't the point. I'm a grown woman. These girls are … girls."

"And out here in the black they need to know how to protect themselves." Freya peeled herself away from the tree where she'd been leaning, standing so still Inara hadn't seen her.

Inara stared at her. "You knew about this?"

"I suggested it."

"You …" Inara couldn't believe the anger building up inside her. "And you didn't think to ask my permission?"

"You'd have said no."

"Damn right I would!" She burned with righteous fury. "I'm trying to teach them how to be ladies, not cowboys!"

"Well, I don't see 'em wearing holsters and spurs -" Jayne put in, then stopped at the look Inara gave him.

"Is there anything wrong with that?" Freya asked softly. "I don't wear spurs, but I wear a holster." She looked down at her swelling belly. "Admittedly not right now, but are you saying there's something wrong with me?"

"No, of course not, but you're not a -"

"Not what, Inara? Because I seem to recall I was going to be."

Inara stopped. She'd forgotten, as most people did, that Freya was Core-bred. They'd got so used to her in her pants and boots, gun at her hip, that they forgot her blood family was rich, powerful. "I didn't mean -"

"And even then it's not exactly mutually exclusive."

"But if they're going to behave like ladies -"

"You think they're going to live on Osiris?" Freya smiled a little. "Amongst the greatest of the Alliance?"

"As much as that would annoy Mal, no, I wasn't suggesting that. But if they can learn to be more refined at least they can take their place in society elsewhere."

"And you think not handling guns is going to do that?"

"I'm more worried about what handling guns _will_ do! I'm trying to give them a choice here, Freya, so they can decide where they want to be, who they want to become, and not be forced to live out on the Rim because they can only say ain't."

"So am I. And if Hermione had carried a gun when she went out that day they might not have taken her," Freya added.

Inara felt her blood run cold. She looked around for the young girl, but realised she wasn't amongst her sisters. "Where is -"

"She wouldn't come down. She's still afraid."

"I'm not surprised with all these guns around!" Inara gestured towards the firearms on the table.

"No. Afraid someone will come along and take her again." Freya took a step closer. "Like you are."

"I'm not afraid!"

"Of course you are. Afraid for them, afraid for yourself …"

"Stay out of my mind!"

"I'm not in there. I don't have to be." She glanced at the Reilly girls, who had huddled together. "Why don't we go in the house? Talk? We haven't done that yet."

"_Xiong can wang ba dan de biao zi."_

"Mal really was a bad influence on you, wasn't he?" Freya said, hearing nervous laughter from someone.

"It's not Mal. It's you. I wish I'd never said you could stay! I don't need you here! I don't need anyone!" Inara turned furiously on her heel and strode back towards the house, anger radiating off her like heat.

"Frey …" Jayne began, but the other woman stopped him.

"You just carry on," she said. "I'll take care of this." Freya patted him on the shoulder, touched Ethan's cheek and followed Inara.

"Auntie 'Nara mad?" Ethan asked, snuggling down into Jayne's warm lap, watching his mother disappear into the house.

"You know, sometimes I figure your Auntie River's craziness is catching," the big man said softly, shaking his head.

"Auntie 'Nara's crazy?" Ethan giggled.

"Wouldn't be at all surprised if she ain't gotten a big dose."

"Mama help her."

"Yeah. Figure she can." Jayne looked up at the girls. "Well? What're you standing around for?"

"Inara didn't want us to do this," Letitia said warily.

"Inara around here? Right now?"

"Um … no."

"Then pick up that gun and try again. And remember, squeeze, don't pull."

---

Inara hurried into the dining room, slamming the door closed behind her. She leaned on the table, still set for the breakfast she hadn't had, and stared into nothing.

Damn that woman! Damn her and all her wiles, her interfering. She didn't need her, didn't need any of them. If they'd just leave her alone, she could deal with this in her own way. Do all the things she'd been taught at the Training House, and honed over years of being a Companion - meditate, cleanse, purify … The boom of another gunshot from outside made the fury surge within her and she swept the plates to the floor, hearing them smash.

"Hope that wasn't a good set," Freya said, closing the door behind her.

"Go away."

"No."

"Go away!"

"Not until we've talked."

"I don't need to talk. I am dealing with it."

"Well, you surely don't seem to be doing too good a job of it."

"Go away, Freya."

"I mean, the cuts on your arms are probably almost healed, yet you won't take the bandages off."

Inara turned, the truth finally dawning on her. "You orchestrated this, didn't you?" she demanded to know. "Jayne and the guns, the girls …"

"You won't talk. You haven't said a thing about what happened to you. I thought it might be a way of breaking through that famous veneer of yours."

"What veneer?"

"Oh, come on, Inara. No-one has ever seen the real you. There's always this armour in place, so no-one gets through. Even Mal never did."

She flinched at his name. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"No?" Freya picked up a plate, miraculously unbroken. "Here. You missed one."

"_Pofu_." She took it, held it tightly.

"You're angry."

"Damn right I'm angry!"

"At who?"

"You!" Inara threw the plate with all the force in her, shattering it against the wall.

"And?"

Inara stared. "And what?"

"And who else? Or would you like me to tell you? Angry at Han for what he did to you?"

Her face went white. "Don't be so -"

"Angry at him for giving you to his man so he could rape you too?"

"Frey -"

"Or angry at yourself because you walked into his house thinking he was a friend? At being so blind? At letting him do those things to you?"

Inara flew at Freya, her hands out, fingers like claws, but the other woman just deflected her, turning her so she could wrap her arms around her, holding her still.

"You didn't give him permission, Inara. What he did, what he took, was against your will. That's why they call it rape. It isn't something you can agree to. And you didn't. You fought him. You won."

Inara collapsed in her arms, taking them both to the floor. "I didn't win. I let him. I tried to save the girls and I lost."

"Hermione's upstairs. Trianne is with her parents." She paused a moment. "And the other girl had died before you even arrived. You couldn't save her. But you saved the others."

"No," Inara whimpered.

"Yes. By giving him something else to do." Freya held her tightly. "You gave Mal time. Otherwise …" She shuddered, having been unable to block the image her husband had of the body of the girl who'd been killed, what Han had done to her. "You saved them, Inara."

Inara could feel the swell of the child inside her friend as she leaned, taking comfort from the new life. "I let him do those things to me. I _let_ him."

"You know, I read somewhere once that only the devil looks on the deeds and not the motives." Freya began to rock soothingly, just gently.

"That man _was_ the devil." Inara shivered, feeling someone walking over her grave. "I didn't know. How could I not know what he was?"

"Are you God?"

"What?"

"Well, it's the only way you'd know everything. Be omniscient."

"But I should have been able to see, to at least get some inkling of what he wanted, of what he had become …"

"He was very good at hiding it."

"But my training, the years I spent learning how to read body language, signals … I still should have -"

"How?" Freya shook her head. "The Alliance were looking for him too, and they never caught up with him. You think a few hours in his company would make you an expert on him?"

Inara shook her head. "When he came with Rosette, we talked. For a long time. About all sorts of things. But I didn't … I couldn't tell that was what he was thinking about."

"Maybe he wasn't." Freya sighed. "Inara, in my experience men like that have minds that are pretty much compartmentalised. Work in one, you in another, raping girls in a third … and they never meet. When he was with you he wasn't thinking about defiling children. Just like when he was hurting you he wasn't thinking about the beautiful and amazing woman you are."

"Don't. Don't lie to me."

"I'm not." Freya squeezed a little more. "If I were sly, or even that way inclined, you'd be the woman I'd want to be with."

Inara laughed. It was shaky, not lasting very long, but it was a laugh all the same. "I'm going to tell Mal that."

"Fine. He can have more fantasies about us being together."

"He has fantasies about that?"

"So does Jayne. Well, he did. Now it tends to be you and River."

"You're lying."

"Prove it."

Inara sat up. "Except that's so …"

"Jayne."

"I suppose so."

"Look, can we at least sit on the sofa? My ass is falling asleep," Freya complained. "And in my condition …"

Inara immediately got to her feet, holding out her hand. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She took it, getting up slightly more awkwardly.

"He said … he said it was my fault," Inara suddenly blurted out, still holding tight. "That when he … when we were contracted together, he was trying to recreate what it felt like. Being my … being my first."

Freya closed her eyes. This was what Inara had been afraid to say. "So you think all of this was your doing?"

"He said … he said it pained me, and he wanted to recreate that moment."

"And did it?"

"What?"

"Pain you."

"No." Inara shook her head. "Although a Companion-in-waiting doesn't have sex, there's still … there was no pain."

"Then he was lying." She pulled Inara back into her arms. "Did you think he was going to tell you the truth?"

"I …" Inara stopped, confused beyond measure.

"What is it about Serenity?" Freya laughed, the vibration communicating itself to the woman in her arms. "We all want to take on the guilt for everything. Mal's only just getting over surviving the war when so many of his men didn't, Zoe felt guilty for not dying when Wash did, Jayne wanted Simon to kill him because he hadn't saved Jethro, and River … well, River tends to feel the guilt of everyone else as well as her own. And we won't even touch on what I feel guilty about."

"But it _is_ my fault."

"No, Inara. If it hadn't been you, it would have been someone else. I don't believe a single act makes a man a monster. If that was the case then the 'verse would be a dark place filled with corruption. Even more than it is now."

"Sometimes I wonder we can survive at all."

"That's why Mal keeps flying." Freya moved back enough to look into the other woman's eyes. "Look, how about I get Mrs Boden to bring us some tea, and we can talk some more."

"Tea would be …" Inara's face suddenly crumpled, and tears sprang from her eyes. "Oh, God!"

Freya held her friend tightly, letting her cry, feeling the pain that was going to take a long time to go welling up inside her, ready to be there for her as long as it took.

Outside in the hallway Jayne stood, Ethan holding tightly to his hand.

"Auntie 'Nara gonna be all right?" the little boy asked again, his free fist tangling in his hair.

"Can you feel how she feels?" Jayne asked curiously, but Freya's son only shrugged. He didn't understand about that, not yet. The big man went down onto his heels. "Yeah, she'll be okay. Might throw some stuff, shout, that kinda thing … but it ain't aimed at your Ma."

Ethan nodded. "Mama duck."

Jayne laughed softly. "Yeah, I reckon your Ma can duck real well. But it's hard for your Auntie right now, so we have to be good, _dong mah_?"

"Play with me?" Ethan suggested, tugging on his uncle's hand.

"Okay. But how about we get something to eat first, eh? I'm starving."

Ethan giggled. "Uncle Jayne always hungry."

"Got that right, squirt," he agreed. "Got that absolutely right."


	3. Gifts: Taste

"I don't want any."

"River, you have to eat." Simon stared down at the unappealing sludge in the saucepan. "It's good. It's …" Even he couldn't find the right words to describe the grey mass just lying there.

"Smells like crotch."

He stared at her. "It doesn't. It's …" He looked down again, then grinned. "God, it does, doesn't it?"

"Hey, that's my best cooking you're denigrating there," Mal protested from his place at the head of the table.

"And it's well up to standard," the young doctor said. "Can't you just take yourself off the cooking roster? This seems such a … a waste. Of your talents," he added quickly. "I could order it, as a doctor. For the sake of our health."

"I'll take it under advisement, but for now, it's all there is." Mal lifted a lump to his mouth and held his breath as he chewed.

"Plenty for seconds," Hank agreed, stirring his bowlful and tipping even more sweetener into it.

"It doesn't help," Kaylee said sadly.

"Hey, you doing it too?" Mal asked, staring at her. "Thought you'd at least be on my side."

"Oh, I am, Cap'n," she declared brightly. "And whatever's left I can use as engine sealant."

"Mal, admit it," Hank said, obviously feeling the urge to commit suicide. "You're crap as a cook, and since Freya ain't been on board the last month you've got worse."

"Your mind certainly doesn't seem to be on the stove," Zoe put in, holding a small piece of rusk so Ben could chew on it.

"And you can keep out of this," Mal said, pointing at her with his chopsticks. "And okay, I'll admit I wasn't thinking about food when I was cooking, but -"

"Freya?" Hank suggested.

"She does seem to be on my mind a bit."

"Only natural." The pilot poked his food. "But could you think a bit more about cooking next time?"

Mal looked at his crew, and sighed. "Okay, fine. Everybody get their coats."

Kaylee looked up expectantly. "Cap'n?"

"I'm buying breakfast. But you've gotta be in the cargo bay in five minutes or you get left."

"_Xie xie_, Cap'n!" Kaylee exclaimed, jumping to her feet.

---

They'd touched down on Boros as dawn broke, for once ship board and planet time almost concurring, and as they hurried out into the morning a thousand different smells assailed their senses.

Bethany was wide-eyed, taking in every sight, as usually she was confined to the ship when they landed anywhere, unless it was a place Mal considered safe enough for a three year old. Fiddler, on the other hand, had been locked up in her room, and had started howling even before they left the boat.

"Do they have an animal welfare agency on Boros?" Simon wondered aloud as the cargo bay doors closed. "He sounds as if we're treating him really badly."

"Only in so far as they make sure they get cooked properly," Mal put in, locking up. "'Sides, Ben was at it all night long, and no-one complained."

"You did," Hank reminded him.

"Yeah, well, I'm Captain. I have to get my beauty sleep."

"It's not like it's working."

"I could leave you to look after the ship," Mal pointed out.

"He's teething, sir," Zoe said, anxious to avoid any unpleasantness.

"Who, Hank?" Mal asked, raising his eyebrows. "Ain't yours come through yet?"

"_Ben's_ teething," his first mate clarified.

"How come? Ethan didn't get his first tooth 'til he was near eight months only."

"And he made enough fuss about that," Hank muttered, settling his son in the sling around his chest a little more comfortably as they set off. "What about pilots needing their sleep? Can fly the boat if we only get twenty-six minutes, but the boss needs a full eight hours just to stand around and tell people what -"

"All babies are different," Zoe said loudly. "And it's just the one."

"I go' ma teef," Bethany said indistinctly, holding her cheek away from her jaw so everyone could see the small white nubs.

"And real pretty they are too," Mal said, smiling down at the little girl, who beamed back.

"And hardly a peep with any of 'em, either," Kaylee added.

"So how come Ben kept me awake with just the one?"

"His gum is sore," Zoe explained. "Simon's given me something to rub on it, and he's been chewing on things, but I guess it's just a case of being a matter of time."

"Think I might take myself to sleep in the passenger dorm, then," Mal said.

"That doesn't help either," Simon said quietly.

"Besides, your mother told you that you kept her awake with every single one of yours," River pointed out, her dark eyes fixed on the Captain.

Mal glared at her.

---

"Cap'n, that was a right shiny breakfast," Kaylee said, sitting back and patting her stomach. "Don't think I could stuff another mouthful."

"Just don't expect it every time I'm supposed to cook." Mal pointed at his crew with the last piece of bread. "This was a one-off, since we've been doing so well with the jobs 'n' all." He wiped it around his plate and chewed before swallowing.

"Jayne will be sorry he missed it," River said softly.

"I'm sure he's getting fed far too much on Lazarus, _mei-mei_," Simon said, stroking her back.

"Anyway, if he'd known the Cap was paying he'd have eaten 'til he burst," Hank said. "Just to be ornery. And that would've been too messy. Apart from being gross." He grimaced. Ben was chewing on his finger again.

"You'd better see if you can get him a teething ring," the young doctor advised.

"It's on my list," Zoe said. "Along with diapers, liners, baby cream -"

"And that's just for me," her fiancé joked.

"That might be funnier if we weren't all thinking it," Mal said. "And you only got an hour for shopping. Cargo arrives at ten and I want us to be gone before noon."

"What are we hauling this time, Cap'n?" Kaylee asked.

"Manifest says it's cosmetics."

"What, lipstick, eye colours and the like?" Her eyes widened.

"I guess. Although since this is a deal put together by Badger, I somehow don't think that's all that'll be in the boxes. Which is why we're dropping off the radar as far as possible."

"Course is all set," Hank said, sounding all business-like again. "Take us a bit longer, but we shouldn't run into anyone we don't want to."

"Good work." Mal looked at his young mechanic. "And no taking a gander through the stuff, seeing if you can't get yourself some free samples."

"I'm not a thief!" Kaylee said, outraged, then had to laugh.

"Yeah. Right. Just like the rest of us ain't." Mal stood up, easing the slight tightness of his waistband. "Well, I for one have got a couple of things to get my own self, so be back at the boat in an hour." He headed for the cashier to pay for their meals as Zoe and Hank hurried away.

"He seems a lot happier," Kaylee murmured to Simon as she wiped Bethany's face before they set off.

"I think he's thinking that the more time that passes the closer they are to being back together."

"You think it'll be soon?"

"I don't know. From what little he's said of their conversations, Inara certainly seems to be talking more, but … I can't help thinking she needs to see a professional."

"Freya understands that," River said quietly, picking up the last dumpling from her plate. "That's what she's aiming for."

Simon looked surprised. "She didn't say."

"It's become clear she doesn't have the training to deal with all the ramifications. And although there are points of contact, of similarity … Inara needs someone who can guide her through it."

"Does Mal know this?"

"No point in telling him. He can't help." She popped the dumpling into her mouth. "Shopping," she said around it, and hurried out of the café.

---

Fifty-nine minutes later and everyone was back in the cargo bay, showing each other their various purchases.

Bethany was waxing ecstatic over her new shoes, all shiny black patent that she obviously loved so much it was going to take threats and cajoles at bedtime to get her out of them.

"… 'n' I had to put my foot in this machine, and it whirred and buzzed and all these lights flashed, and then it came out with the exact shape of my foot on this piece of paper, only it was in figures not pictures and then they fed it into this other machine and it got all crunched up and ten minutes later I got them! Ain't they beautiful?" she asked for the hundredth time.

"They sure are," Mal said, smiling at her enthusiasm, his own purchases stowed safely in pockets or tucked inside his brown coat.

"… and there it was," Hank said, looking down at his son and his new teething ring. "Never figured to get one so nice for that kind of money."

"It's certainly a good buy," Simon said. "I'd say it's at least two hundred years old, maybe more."

"Old?" Hank was surprised.

"It's silver, and the workmanship is outstanding." The young doctor touched the scrolls on one side of the ring. "I doubt it was ever used by a baby. Probably made as a christening gift."

"So it's worth something?"

"At least ten times what you paid for it. Probably a lot more, depending on where you sold it."

Hank quickly took the ring from his son's mouth, and Ben's hands waved in the air as his face screwed up ready to start crying.

"Can't have that, can we?" Mal said, surprising everyone by taking a plasticast ring from his pocket and putting it into Ben's grasping fingers. Instantly he took it to his mouth and started chewing, gurgling happily.

"Sir?" Zoe said, her eyebrows raised.

"Gotta make sure I get some shuteye somehow," he said gruffly, tickling the little boy under the chin.

"Yes sir." Zoe smiled warmly.

"'Sides, you're gonna have to keep that little bit of nothing until he grows up, and you can pass it on," Mal added, heading up the stairs towards his bunk. "Keep it in the family."

"Hey, we got an heirloom!" Hank said, holding up the teething ring.

---

In his bunk Mal laid out his purchases on the bed, running the soft silk of the top he'd bought Freya through his fingers. It flowed like red water, and he knew he couldn't wait to see her in it.

"Pretty," River said.

"Conjured you'd be down here sooner or later," Mal said, not turning around. "Figure she'll approve?"

"I do." She stepped closer to him, touching the flame-coloured fabric with her fingertip. "What else did you buy?"

"Nosy, ain't you?"

"I can show you what I bought," she said, her head on one side. "Except you said you didn't want to know about things like that."

He glared at her. "I don't."

"Then I won't." She smiled, her youth shining through. "So, what else?"

"Well, I … I saw these and I couldn't resist." He held up a small pair of suspenders, just like his but child-sized. "For Ethan. Got a notion he'd be ready for 'em by now."

"He wants to be like his daddy," River agreed. "He loves you."

Mal felt warmth run through him. "Yeah, I guess he does."

"He'll look just like you. Freya will cry."

"Can't have that."

"Still will." She touched the last box. "What's that?"

Mal suddenly seemed to come over embarrassed. "Nothing."

"You bought it. Unlikely you'd buy an empty box of nothing."

"Didn't say it was empty. Just nothing to do with you."

"I could look." She tapped her temple.

"The sooner we get you back to lessons with Frey the better," he warned. "Ain't having peeking on my boat." He paused. "Least, none that I didn't order."

"So show me."

He glared at her again, but she didn't back down. "Okay, just … don't laugh."

"Why should I?"

"Because it's …" He coughed, and removed the lid of the box. "Just something I bought for Frey."

River looked down, her body still for a long moment. "Oh."

"Do you think she'll like it?" he asked, his face a little worried.

River ran her fingers across the soft leather, the stitching holding it together. "I think she'll love it."

"Only she asked for something pretty to wear, and … well, I got her that top, but then I saw this, and I …" He paused. "And last time she couldn't wear her gunbelt, and I know it made her feel left out." He knew he was trying to justify it, and squared his shoulders. "Hell, it's just a gift."

"She'll adore it," River said, lifting the shoulder holster from the box. "And she'll adore you for thinking of her."

"Always do, albatross. Always do."

"Captain, cargo's here." Zoe's voice reverberated around the small cabin.

Mal crossed to the com. "Get it stowed, and -"

"Well, there might be a problem to that."

"Problem?" Mal turned to stare at the young woman next to him. "What kind of problem?"

There was the distinctive sound of mooing coming from the speaker. "It seems that Badger arranged for some other items to be added, and didn't think to let us know."

"Is that cows?" Mal asked, his heart plummeting.

"Certainly appears to be so, sir."

"I don't do cows. Not any more."

"It's not … _just_ cows, sir."

Mal sighed. "I'll be right there." He shut off the com and headed for the ladder. "Why doesn't it ever go smooth?" He started to climb. "And Badger is gonna be sorry he ever -"

River waited, and was rewarded with a sound like a rocket shuttle going past the entrance to the bunk, followed by furious and joyous barking.

"What the hell was that?" came Mal's voice, drifting down from above.

"A Vorpal cat," Simon's voice replied.

"A what?"

"A Vorpal cat. Very rare. Almost extinct, in fact."

"Well, if you don't get it off my bridge before Fiddler catches it, it's gonna be even more extinct."

"No worries, Cap'n." Kaylee sounded bright. Too bright. "We'll just get it back in its cage with the others."

"Others? How many of these things are there?"

"Not … many. A few. Some."

"Kaylee …"

"Not to worry, Cap'n. Honest."

"Hank!" Mal's voice pounded through the ship without benefit of comlink. "Get Badger on the vid!"


	4. The Capture: Sight

Ellie Frye settled down in the big armchair by the old fireplace and tucked her feet up under her. Pulling the family comforter, made and added to by generations of Fryes, about her shoulders, she took a sip of tea and picked up the capture that had arrived that morning. She knew it was from Kaylee the moment she saw the rounded handwriting, and had put it to one side to watch later. Now, with the boys and Eddie gone to town for a drink and a game of Tall Card, this was her time. She'd show it to them later, of course, when they got home, but right now she wanted to see her daughter by herself.

"Hey Momma!"

Kaylee grinned into the capture and her mother smiled. Still the bright and breezy little girl she'd always been. 'Cept she wasn't so little no more. Not now she was married, and a mother herself.

"I know it's been a while since we talked, but we've been doing pretty good these last few weeks, for jobs and the like, and I've been saving, and we finally got somewhere I could buy a high memory capture tab. Those titchy things are all very well and good, but they don't last no time at all, and soon as I've said hi it's time to be saying farewells, and that ain't worth it. I mean, it is if I only wanted to say I love you, but what I gotta say right now … well, it's more than just a minute's worth."

Kaylee motioned to whoever was behind the image to come over, and Simon slipped into view, a baby in his arms. Ellie sat up.

"See, Momma, I've been waiting, hoping that a job'd bring us close enough to Phoros so I … so _we_ could come and tell you ourselves, in person, but that ain't happened. Seems all the work's the other side of the system at the moment, so the Cap's been …" She stopped, aware her mouth was running away again. "Anyway, we figured this was the next best thing." She moved a little so Simon could sit next to her. "Go on," she said to him.

"I thought you wanted to -"

"Simon."

He shook his head slightly and grinned at her, then turned back towards the screen.

"Hi, Ellie," he said. "Hope you're sitting down -"

"She will be," Kaylee interrupted.

"_Bao bei_, if you want to do this -"

"If'n you don't say soon I will."

Simon took a deep breath.

"Fine."

He turned the baby slightly so her face could be clearly seen, her short blonde hair standing up every which way.

"This is Hope, Ellie," Simon explained softly. "Hope Roxanna Tam. She's … she's our daughter."

Ellie almost dropped the capture in surprise.

"Now, Momma," Kaylee added quickly, "you remember to breathe. Take a sip o' that tea I know you've got at your elbow, and just sit for a minute."

She waited, and Ellie had to smile. Her child knew her too well. She reached out and lifted the cup to her lips with a hand that trembled only a little, then placed it back in the saucer.

Kaylee nodded, as if she could see across time and space. "That's better," she said, approvingly. "Now, I didn't want you to get all fainting about this, since you know I ain't been pregnant, leastways not since Bethie. But Hope's our daughter, even though she ain't blood."

"Her mother was a passenger," Simon explained. "She was very ill, and despite everything I tried she died during the birth." His face fell, and Ellie could see Kaylee squeeze his knee. "Little Hope had no-one else, and … well, when we talked we decided to adopt her."

Ellie couldn't help the grin spreading her lips. Eddie told her, after their last visit, that he'd spoken to their son-in-law about adopting, and here they were doing exactly that. And she looked such a pretty little thing, too.

Kaylee spoke quietly. "Simon, you'd better go feed her, then put her down."

Her husband nodded. "Will do." He looked back at the screen. "And I really hope we get to see you again soon. Bethany keeps asking Mal, and I think she's wearing down his resistance." He smiled and stood up, leaving the view.

Kaylee was obviously waiting for him to be out of earshot, then she leaned forward.

"Momma, I hope you understand. I know you were trying your best with that tea, and I know miracles do happen, but … I love Hope like I carried her for nine months and gave birth to her myself. Her own momma, Roxanna, well, she was a strong lady who was determined for her little girl to have a life, and I hope she'd be happy for us to give Hope just that. And Bethie wanted to have her for a sister even before the rest of us had talked about it. That's where Simon's gone to put Hope to her crib for the night. Her and Bethie share a room, and …" Kaylee had to laugh. "Some nights I go by, just to make sure before I turn in, and I can hear her telling stories, mostly 'bout pirates."

Ellie shook her head, laughing with her daughter. Pirates. Well, with that crew she guessed she wasn't all too surprised.

"And she is the cutest little dumpling," Kaylee went on. "I mean, you saw, but wait 'til you see her in the flesh. She's got these eyes that are kinda … well, they're sorta green, only sometimes they're grey, like Hank's … I mean, he swears he never met Roxanna 'til that day she came on board, but Zoe winds him up about it sometimes."

Kaylee grinned, looking so much like the little girl she used to be.

"And Zoe's good too. Ben's growing, and I know it won't be long before he's gonna be saying his first words, and Hank's been going round telling everyone he's glad Jayne ain't on board at the mo, otherwise those words'd probably be cussing."

Her good humour faded a little, and Ellie wondered.

"They ain't here at the moment, Jayne and Freya. They're with Inara for a while. We had some … well, there was some trouble, and they're helping her for a bit. River ain't taking it too well: been following the Cap'n everywhere, like she's lost part of herself. He's getting better, though, and I'm hoping by the time you get this we'll have picked 'em back up. Course, she's blooming." Kaylee managed a smile. "You sure knew what you were doing with those leaves, reading them the way you did. Another little girl on board soon. You won't know where to put us all when we come a-calling."

She sniffed, and Ellie wished it was truly her daughter standing there in front of her, not just a hard bit of plastic, so she could comfort her, make her feel loved. Then Kaylee's next words made her chuckle.

"Wish you could hold me, Momma. Wrap me up in those arms of yours and tell me everything's fine. I mean, it _is_, and I got me a beautiful family to prove it, only sometimes … I miss ya. And Pa. And Pete, and Bobby, and Billy and Joe. Not that they'd believe me," she added quickly, a smile flashing across her lips. She leaned forward again, looking at something just out of sight. "Well, looks like I'm almost out of time here, Momma. Tell everyone I love 'em, and that we'll be by soon, even if I have to tie the Cap'n down and threaten him until he agrees. I tried it with Simon once and it worked a treat."

She laughed, happy again, her warmth and love shining brightly off the screen. "So write to me soon, and send me a few more recipes. Simon's getting real good at … oh, I didn't tell you did I?" The laughter was bubbling now. "My own husband is enjoying cooking. You should see him cutting up the vegetables when we get them … something to do with being a doctor, I guess. And when he carves the roast, even if it's only moulded protein, ya should see the Cap'n wince!"

Covering her mouth to hold the sound back in, she grinned. "Well, gotta go. I love you, Momma. More'n I can rightly say. See you soon." She blew a kiss, then leaned forward again and the image froze on her smile.

Ellie sat back, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Honey, you okay?" Eddie asked, coming in the back door unnoticed, his sons behind him. "What is it?" He hurried to sit down next to her.

"It's okay," she assured him, wiping at her face with both hands.

"The capture from Kaylee?" her husband asked.

She stared at him. "How did you -"

"You think I didn't see you put it into your pocket when it arrived? Wanting to keep us poor menfolk in the dark until you decided it was the right time for us to hear all the news?" He shook his head in mock disapproval. "Looks like we ain't good for anything more than earning a crust."

"It's truly appalling," Joe agreed, pulling off his jacket and letting it fall to the floor by the coatstand.

"You pick that up," his mother chided. "I didn't bring you up to leave your clothes lying every which way."

Joe grinned and did what he was told.

"'Sides, Betsy Lou don't mind where Joe drops his clothes," Peter put in.

"Shut up," Joe hissed, turning bright red.

"'s true. Chloe got it from her direct. Straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak."

"Betsy Lou ain't no horse," Joe said, his fists balling.

"So what does our little girl have to say?" Eddie asked, glaring at his boys until they subsided.

Ellie made a mental note to have a word with her youngest son, but turned to her husband. "Oh, just a few things. Like Simon's enjoying learning to cook, and Bethie's well, and they'll be bringing Hope to see us soon as they can -"

"Hope?" Eddie looked mystified. "Who's Hope?"

"Your granddaughter."

"My …" He shook his head. "What are you talking about, woman?"

For answer Ellie held up the capture, and pressed play.

"Hey Momma!" Kaylee said again. "I know it's been a while since we talked, but we've been doing pretty good these last few weeks, for jobs and the like, and I've been saving, and we finally got somewhere I could buy a high memory capture tab. Those titchy things are all very well and good, but they don't last no time at all, and soon as I've said hi it's time to be saying farewells, and that ain't worth it. I mean, it is if I only wanted to say I love you, but what I gotta say right now …"

Ellie watched her husband and sons as they listened, heard the sharp intakes of breath when Hope was introduced, then the chatter started. She grinned. Such a wonderful family - she was truly blessed.


	5. Anticipation: Smell

Jayne opened the door to his room and peered out into the corridor. It didn't look like anyone was about, but that couldn't be guaranteed. He'd waited for more than a couple of hours after everyone seemed to turn in, but … still, he could be doing this for the rest of the night. Which was crazy.

He closed the door again. Gorramit, maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. It was only talk, when it came down to it. They'd just been chatting over a coffee in the yellow drawing room, and he'd happened to mention he'd always wanted to try it.

"Just something I … I don't know. Appeals to me somehow."

Freya looked at him over the top of her mug. "I didn't know you felt that way."

"It's kinda been at the back of my mind. Close proximity, 'n' all. If'n you don't mind." He almost squirmed in his chair.

"I don't mind. I think it's a nice idea. And no-one's ever gonna find out from me, if that's what you're worried about."

"Well, it crossed my mind. I mean, if Mal learned I'd -"

"My lips are sealed." She smiled and took another sip. "So, tonight? After everyone's gone to bed?"

"Probably best. Don't fancy anyone walking in while I'm getting down to it …"

Now he leaned on the back of the door, his eyes closed. What the hell was he doing? If anyone ever did find out, he'd never hear the end of it. And Mal'd be … well, furious was probably not the right word. But certainly he'd think his territory had been invaded, and by Jayne at that. Could be messy.

He almost headed back towards his bed, then shook his head.

"What are you?" he said to himself. "Man or mouse?" He could do this. He was Jayne Cobb, mercenary, man of action, killer and deflowerer of virgins. Well, one, that he was aware of.

Opening the door he looked out again, then stepped into the corridor. Just a few steps down there, and maybe paradise awaited. He grinned, his blue eyes glinting with mischief. Yeah, Jayne Cobb on the prowl.

Strolling along the hall like he owned the place, he came to the doorway and felt a thrill comprising 50% trepidation, 50% anticipation, and 10% orneriness. No-one ever said Jayne didn't get his full share, and then some. He touched the handle, feeling the metal cool and slick under his fingers.

"Still think this is a good idea?" he asked to no-one in particular, then quickly answered himself. "Hell, yeah."

Opening the door he stepped through. There … open, waiting, inviting … just what he'd imagined.

Perspiration immediately sprang out on his skin, pooling between his shoulder blades and down his belly as he advanced. So hot …

Reaching out, he ran his hand down the smooth side, along the curves, all the way up to …

He grinned. Monty sure had a taste for the absurd. Dolphin taps, indeed. Turning one on he watched as hot water poured into the bath, steam rising to join the warmth in the bathroom. Stepping back from the edge, he looked around, taking in every detail. The door to the bedroom next door was closed, but that didn't matter. Freya said she'd spend the night in with Ethan, give him some privacy so he could relax and try out the bath for as long as he wanted.

And he did want. If it was as good as reported, it was something he wanted to try with River when she got back. He groaned as his body reacted the way it always did when he thought about the young psychic. Her coming back had better be soon, otherwise his right hand'd be worn away.

He went through the various jars and bottles, sniffing experimentally at a couple, then sneezing when one got too far up his nose. Nah, they were too girly. Except maybe that one. A golden colour, the liquid seemed to ooze in the bottle, and the smell was more masculine. He grinned. Maybe that was Mal's. Prob'ly not something he actually bought for himself, but maybe Frey got it. The grin got wider. Yeah, might be worth smelling like a harem's eunuch just to annoy the Cap. He poured a generous amount into the fast-flowing water.

Better get ready. Quickly stripping out of his clothes, he listened carefully at the door for a final time, then turned back to the bath.

And stopped.

Bubbles. Lots of bubbles. In fact, more bubbles than he'd rightly ever seen before. And they were coming out towards him.

He knelt on the step and reached into the mass of foam to the tap, turning it off with a jerk. Then he waited. Well, no new bubbles at least. He rubbed a handful between his fingers. Felt okay. Be a pity to have to pull the plug and start again. Leaning forward he touched the surface of the water. That felt pretty good too. Just cool enough to be bearable. He grinned. Time to get wet.

He swung his legs over the edge, and they disappeared into the high froth. He could tell his feet were in the water, and he eased himself into the bath. Huh, deeper than it looked. He kept going until the water was up to his chest and he was sitting on the bottom, surrounded by bubbles.

Sighing, he let the water hold him, and he stretched out, laying his head back in the scented water. He closed his eyes, imagining River next to him, her lithe body all wet and limber, maybe even oiled a little. He grinned. Her fingers on his thighs, his hips, running up in small circles around his nipples, smoothing out his wet chest hair, before reaching down to put her mouth on his …

He opened his eyes with a start. Someone was in the bath with him. Except there wasn't anyone, not that he could see. Pushing the bubbles to one side, he checked carefully, even reaching down into the water to make sure no-one was hiding. Nope. No-one. He was alone. He glanced down at his manhood. 'Cept _he_ didn't think he had been, all thick and heavy, floating up towards the surface.

For a long moment Jayne pondered just getting out and drying off, but the water still felt good, and the smell of that bubble bath was getting better by the moment. Hell, he'd locked the door, hadn't he? And there was nobody else around, was there? Maybe he was just tired, and he'd begun to doze off.

No worries.

He lay back again, his ears under the water, and closed his eyes. Immediately he felt the touch of fingers. Jerking up, again he searched, but again there was no-one.

"Jayne Cobb, either this place is haunted or you're having some kinda fit," he told himself. "And if it is ghosts, then Frey ain't mentioned it. If it's a fit … well, it don't seem to be too bad." Experimentally he closed his eyes, and once again there was the feeling of fingers on his skin, of a tongue running over his chest, of breath blowing across his nipples …

"Well, if you're a ghost, I don't think I mind that much," he growled. "'Cause you do seem to know exactly what I … _wuh duh mah_!" He screwed his eyes tightly shut, not wanting to lose the sensation, as each and every one of his nerve endings began to fire simultaneously, and he began to see stars …

---

The next morning Jayne was sitting at the breakfast table, idly crunching his way through half a loaf of toast, when Inara and Freya walked into the room, the former somewhat het up over something.

"I know I had more than that," she was saying. "I didn't mean to leave it in the bathroom, but … anyway, half of it's gone now." She saw Jayne. "Oh, good morning."

"Morning," the big man said, spraying crumbs then wiping them from the cloth. "Sorry."

Inara lifted the lid from the serving dish and put two spoonfuls of scrambled eggs onto a plate. "I mean, I wouldn't mind so much, but it was a gift. An expensive gift."

Jayne wondered idly what she was talking about.

"How expensive?" Freya asked, her eyes flickering to Jayne for some reason.

"Two hundred credits an ounce."

"Oh."

"It's only produced in small quantities, and meant to be used sparingly. It's said to have an almost hallucinogenic quality, but I have to say I've never found that myself. I like it because it makes such nice bubbles."

Jayne, his hand reaching for the last of the toast, sat dead still.

"Hallucinogenic?"

"Apparently it's supposed to show you your greatest desire. The most I've ever got from it is clean." She glanced at Jayne. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, sure, fine," he mumbled. "Why shouldn't I be?"

"Because you've got your sleeve in the butter dish."

"Oh, _mao xingxing de gaowan_," he swore, then looked up guiltily. "Well, if it weren't so gorram cold here I wouldn't need to be wearing long sleeves."

He saw Freya staring at him, then there was a familiar itching in his mind. Her eyes widened.

"Jayne, did you …" She began, then stopped, changing what she had been about to say in mid-stream. "Eat all the toast?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry. Looks like I did." He grinned apologetically, snagging the last slice. "Sorry."

"That's okay," Inara said. "I'll ask Mrs Boden for some more." She went to the door.

"Did you do that?" Freya hissed as Inara stood talking to her housekeeper for a moment.

"Didn't know it cost that much."

"Jayne -"

"Don't tell her. I'll never live it down. Bubble bath …" He went pale.

"What did it look like?"

"Huh?"

"Just think it."

Inara came back and sat down.

"Um, Inara," Freya began, shooting Jayne a glare.

"Yes? Oh, there'll be more toast in a minute."

"What? Oh, good. But that's not … was this stuff in a sort of triangular bottle? Gold colour?"

Inara's eyes widened. "That's the one."

"Oh. Then it's my fault. I should have said. I knocked it into the bath and before I knew it, half of it had run away. I'm sorry. I had no idea it was such a favourite."

Inara stared, then shook her head. "No, it's fine. Honestly. There's plenty for several more baths, and … it's just bubble bath. I'm sure I can find something equally nice for a much smaller price."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am." She smiled. "Now, you'd better have some food, otherwise Mrs Boden will be angry with you, and I'll have to tell Mal you've not been eating right. And in your condition, too."

"Well, maybe just a bite." Freya stood up and walked to the dresser, catching Jayne's eyes as she went. "You owe me," she mouthed.

He nodded. He knew he did. Big time. Still, he had to ask. "'Nara, is this place haunted?"

The ex-Companion looked at him. "Not that I'm aware of. Why?"

"Oh, nothing. No reason. Just thought I heard something last night." He nodded and stood up. "You know, I feel like taking me a walk. Either of you ladies fancy coming with me?"

Both declined, so he hurried out of the room, feeling Freya's eyes on his back the whole time. Climbing the stairs to get his gun - experience telling him never to go anywhere without at least one of them - he paused outside the bathroom door. Glancing back down the stairs, he grinned. Hell, they were gonna be some time. Certainly long enough for him to put some of the gold stuff into another bottle and take it back to his room. He had a fancy to keep it until River came. Maybe they could have a long, hot bath together …


End file.
